Anyone who has ever
said, "It's only a game."
Those who were irritated
last spring by noise in the evenings - car horns and screaming - and wondered
if that soccer thing was starting again.
Anyone who, when pressed,
can identify Mark
Sundin (sp) as a team player.
The woman who agreed
with a cab driver that the Leafs were going all the way last year.
The man who calls himself
a Habs fan, and seems to recall watching Guy LaFleur take a penalty shot
while smoking a cigarette.
Anyone who has saluted
Jaromir Jagr back.
Parents who have brought
their children to a game.
Those who refer to the
Gardens as "The Grand Old Lady of Carleton Street."
Those who watched a game
in the Buffalo series even though an important literary event was scheduled
that same night.
Those whose hearts race
at the sound of Queen's "We Are the Champions."
The girl who wrote Bryan
Berard a fan letter, claiming she was "exceptionally flexible."
The boy who flushes every
time Bob Cole mentions "the crease."
Anyone who can name the
referee who made an assist of his ass last season.
Anyone who can explain
the transition game with beer nuts on a bar.
Those who have called
Ken Dryden in a drunken stupor, practising the following gambit, "Hey Kenny?"
The man who cannot sleep
for worrying about Aly McCauley's concussion.
The woman who asked her
elderly neighbours out for a little shinny.
Those who have wondered,
ardently, why they call Steve Thomas "Stumpy."
Anyone who has ever written
a poem beginning, "O Number 13, My captain."
Those who were strangely
elated when Eric Lindros's lung collapsed.
Anyone who has privately
thought of Mike Peca as "a hairy little girl."
The man who believes
that the theme from Hockey Night in Canada is performed by Vladimir Horowitz.
The woman who developed
a tortuous crush on Curtis Joseph, rereading Stephen King's CuJo
to feel closer to him.
Those who are moved to
tears by hockey violence.
Anyone who stopped shaving
for the entire month of May.
The literary critic who
is still annotating entitled, "Harry Neale: A Clear and Present Danger."
The playboy who impersonated
Tie Domi at "Sparkles."
Anyone who is convinced
the team fares badly when Pat Quinn wears a "fancy" tie.
Those who have broken
Those who have thought
"It's not over yet" since 1967.
Anyone with pain.